November 1998 Newsletter
Dear Friend,
I’d like to tell you of my recent appearance on the Montell Williams TV Show. I was featured as the show expert in Trauma Therapy. It’s amazing the interest people have shown in EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) and its potency in overcoming the dreadful effects of traumatic incidents. I have treated over a thousand people utilizing EMDR and the results have been beyond expectation.
All too often people who experience business and financial success in their lives are still unhappy and personally stuck. Isn’t it Freud who said, ”It takes Love and Work to be truly happy.“
Painful experiences from childhood and later in life get locked into the nervous system. These former traumas can be triggered when “reminders” occur and create a great deal of discomfort which we cannot seem to control. Our current level of self-worth, how we feel about ourselves, relate to others, and react to stressful situations are connected to such locked-in material and create obstacles to feeling at peace with ourselves.
EMDR Therapy as part of an ongoing Therapy Treatment or as a brief process seems to unlock the nervous system, allows the brain to clear up stored negative experiences, and permits us to enjoy life to the fullest. An excellent resource is Francine Shapiro’s book, “EMDR, The Breakthrough Therapy”. Call my office if you’d like to borrow a copy of the ABC-TV 20/20 tape that reviewed EMDR, “When All Else Fails,” or if you would like a copy of the New York Magazine article on EMDR. I’d love to hear from you.
I have the pleasure of letting you know that my husband, Harvey Casher, has started a new business venture. After many years as a corporate financial executive, he has opened a C.P.A. practice dealing with taxes, financial planning, counseling and budgeting. If you, your family or friends need a professional with extraordinary skills who can bring a creative approach to your tax and financial problems — and save you money — I strongly recommend you contact Harvey Casher, C.P.A. at (212) 472-9110
With personal regards,
Rita
Why The Butterfly Was Killed
There’s a story attributed to Henry Miller, the writer, about a little boy in India who approaches a Guru, an Indian Wise Man, who is staring at something in his hand. The little boy goes up and looks at it too. He doesn't quite understand what it is, so he says to the Guru, “What is that?”
“It's a cocoon,” the Guru tells him. “Inside the cocoon is a butterfly. Soon the cocoon is going to split, and the butterfly will come out.”
“Could I have it?” asks the little boy.
“Yes,” says the Guru, “but you must promise me that, when the cocoon splits and the butterfly starts to come out and he is beating his wings to get out of the cocoon, you won’t help him Don’t help the butterfly by breaking his cocoon apart. Let him do it by himself.”
The little boy promised, took the cocoon, went home with it, and then sat and watched. Finally, the cocoon split. Inside was a beautiful, damp butterfly, frantically beating its wings against the cocoon, trying to get out and not being able to do it.
The little boy desperately wanted to help. Finally he gave in and disobeyed the Guru’s orders. He pushed the two halves of the cocoon apart, and the butterfly sprang out. But, as soon as it got up into the air, it fell down to the ground and was killed. The little boy picked up the dead butterfly and in tears went back to the Guru and showed it to him.
“You see, little boy,” the Guru said, “you pushed open the cocoon, didn't you?”
“Yes,” said the little boy, “I did.”
And the Guru said, “You don’t understand. You didn’t see what you were doing. When the butterfly comes out of the cocoon, the only way he can strengthen his wings is by beating them against the cocoon. It beats against the cocoon so its muscles will grow. When you helped it the way you did, you prevented it from getting strong. That's why the butterfly fell to the ground and was killed.”
I love this story. It reinforces my belief that the challenges we face serve an important purpose. Therapy is appropriate when it enhances our capacity to meet and overcome life’s difficulties. As for Feiffer, laugh freely but don’t believe him. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to love and nurture, not kill your tender soft spot.
